Alex's Story

    The totally imported Chinese Maiden with no business being in America in 1865, let alone South Carolina, let alone with streaks in her wind blown, purple streaked hair, waited, hands clasped, handkerchief blowing in the wind, that was streaking her wind streaked hair, at the doorway to the small cottage on top of the hill, the windy hill, in South Carolina.  She may or may not have been wearing a bodice.
    
    As the dust (which was kicked up by the wind), cleared, a tall, weary, half starved, lanky, yet still incredibly muscular and dripping with manly manly sweat figure appeared on the horizon.
    
    His head held high, even in defeat, his musket gleaming impossibly, resting on a totally well muscled shoulder, which was part of a totally  well muscled body that really filled out that grey uniform, including manly pecs and awesome bulge, strode towards the house.  Sweat glistened on his dirt and gunpowder streaked face, making lines through 5 years worth of rugged manly manly stubble from the war.
    
    "My love, I have returned for you," he said in really really sexy southern drawl.
    
    "Oh, oh yes, my dear!  You have!  Now make love to me!" said the maiden, in a totally inappropriate somehow acquired southern accent as she ran towards him, wind streaked purple hair streaking in the wind as she tore at her bodice or dress or whatever.
    
    She pressed into his awesome pecs and manly hairy sweaty chest (the part revealed from his half open grey shirt, which had manly manly rips caused from bullets and sabers) and he dropped his musket and swept her up in his sweaty well muscled arms.  Tracing a trail of gunpowder down her soft, sino-complexion cheek, he gently brushed a lock of windswept purple hair from her ear.
    
    "Yes, yes... I love you."
    
    Then he carried her inside and took her in a TOTALLY manly fashion, the kind of manly fashion that says: "I have been at war for 5 years, and we kind lost which was a bummer, but you are WAY HOT and it has been 5 YEARS, BABE."
    
    And it was really awesome for everyone involved.